A DIVORCE COACH IS SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU
BE CONSTRUCTIVE DURING A PAINFUL PROCESS
Maybe you knew that your marriage was on the rocks, or maybe you just found out.
You will have lots of questions, and feel lots of different emotions. What I know is that most people feel overwhelmed, and a coach who can help you through moments of doubt is important.
- Do you have children?
- Do you own a house and/or investments?
- What is your financial situation?
- Do you have emotional support—a friend, a parent, your priest or minister?
You don’t need to go through this alone. Your attorney knows the law; that is what she is trained to do. A divorce coach is trained to understand the emotions involved in the breakup and reforming of a family.
You have no doubt read articles about, or perhaps even known someone who has been vilified or humiliated during their divorce. The goal of divorce coaching is that you and your spouse be able to end your relationship with dignity and respect. Your marriage may be over, but your relationship isn’t. You still know how to push each other’s buttons.
These are questions you need to ask yourself:
- Can I learn conflict resolution skills so that I am able to respond, rather than react to what s/he is saying?
- Can I create a parenting plan that is fair and flexible, and based on my child/rens’ needs?
- Can I learn to co-parent, so that my child/ren can easily go back and forth between our homes?
- What are our goals for our family after the divorce is over?
- Can I help my child/ren understand that it is okay for them to have a relationship with my ex, that is separate from mine?
Divorce coaches are mental health professionals who specialize in helping clients with the often difficult parts of getting divorced; feelings of hurt and anger at finding out, sadness when thinking about breaking up a home, confusion about parenting plans.
When we feel threatened, we are likely to respond with one of two primal responses: fight or flight. Neither one of those responses is likely to us get through divorce in a productive way. Because they are positional; they require a firm stance. The process of coaching asks us to step back and gain perspective on the situation, basing our decisions on the needs of all of the parties involved.